Trying to be more understanding...

People keep saying try to be more understanding, but when i am trying to be more understanding and care for their feelings, how about me? Did they think of my feeling???

When I'm down, I really don't know who can I talk to. When I'm not feeling good, I also don't know who can I talk to too. They might see my happy face everyday, but they will never know how do I feel deep in my heart.

But I really thank God for my colleagues in school for always being so supportive for me in my work, if not I might really collapsed. But colleagues are not my family members, not my lovers, not someone who stay near to me, I couldn't just disturb them night and day.

Everyday when I reach home, I really didn't know how to let my parents know what I faced in school. How I was being ordered to do things here and there, being scolded by kids' parents cos I was only performing my duties and so forth. My parents are very protective so I really scared they might look for my boss so I prefer to stay quiet. But this is why they didn't know the reason I reach home late everyday. My assistant boss already warned me to make sure I finish my work as I didn't have the time to mark all my books before the previous school holiday starts. Other than that, when my parents still asked me to do things, especially my mum(a sch principal also) asked me to help to do her school work, I really feel like breaking down! It is because I need to do school work at school and now when I'm back at home I still need to do some more!! But I want to be a good kid to them, so I did what they asked reluctantly.

To be honest,

if I say I put my friends at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 3rd place.

if I say I put my family at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 2nd place.

if I say I put 'you' at my first place in my heart, yes, I'm telling the truth.

4 years, or should I say around/nearly 4 years.... We've been through ups and downs, both of us also sacrificed for us. If you ask me to really forget you, I can't. If you ask me not to think about you, I can't. If you ask me not to contact you, I'm trying very very hard! Give me sometime to let us go, can you?

Anyway, this is just simply a complain blog. My tears that dropped onto my cheeks has already dry, so means it's time to move on. Good night world.

12 days of ups and downs

Don't get me wrong, the ups and downs aren't referring to mood swing or anything mentally. :P It's just simply getting up 3 storey-high building and down for 12 days course. Let me start.

a) FIRST PHASE (29-31/3/2011) - THIS IS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

At the end of March 2011, my colleague ( JJ ) and I received a letter asking us to attend 12 days

English Proficiency Course for non-option English Teacher. (MBMMBI)

There were four phases involved, 3 days a week (8am-4pm) and it was conducted fortnightly, so in the end took us around 2 months.

JJ and I were reluctant to go but letter from the ministry was like letter from the King, there was nothing we could do but follow.

On the 29th of March morning, JJ and I reached IPGM Kampus Ilmu Khas, Cheras, Kuala Lumpur. We went with a heavy heart(reluctant), and when we went to Drama Room(English Block), we were shocked to find out a lot of other school's participants didn't turn up.

JJ was lucky as her ex-college mate was there too. I was a bit confused with JJ's college mate as she really looked like my UKM friend. After joining into the conversation, I was surprised to know she is actually my UKM friend's twin sister! Nice meeting you Iris! Luckily I didn't call you Vicky in the first place. :)

In the end, due to the lack of participants turning up, we were combined into another cohort (group), so the original 3 cohorts end up becoming 2 cohorts only and we were moved to another block.

So, the course began. We were divided into groups, and five of us from the collapsed cohort stayed together as a group.

(From right: Hui Sze, Tow, Iris, JJ and me! :D)

We started with listening and speaking course. We didn't expect this course would end up as fun as this and at that moment, we were glad to be there.

I still remember another fun thing, as meals were provided(breakfast + lunch), so usually in the morning session, we would always thought of what would be served later. Iris, do you still remember your favourite kueh tiaw?

B) 2nd and 3rd Phase - starting to get BORED

As the title says it all, as 2nd and 3rd phase of the course is more to reading and writing, we started to feel bored. So throughout that 2 phases, mostly we've been looking forward for meals. :P But at the end of 3rd Phase, we went through an exam. An exam without needing us to do any revision. :P

C) 4th and Last Phase - ending with FUN

4th phase is so-called the main phase for us to show what have we learnt during this course. We conducted a mini exhibition. We were given different titles and my group was lucky enough to get Foods all around the world. So we have decided to prepare real foods, as in really real foods that can be consumed by the visitors. The pictures below said it all :)

Bon Appetit! It's a french word means enjoy your meal. :)

Iris, JJ, Hui Sze and me!

Getting busy with our mini stall serving tang yuan(rice flour ball)

delicious dessert in the making. :)

Group picture before we say Goodbye.

I will definitely miss my first course since I started my profession last year and also I'll miss the time hanging out especially with my group members. We really had fun discussing, chit-chatting, eating and making fun of each other. I can still meet JJ in school( she only sit in front of me in the office :P) but for Iris and Hui Sze, I will definitely miss them.

Iris, I will always remember you when I see kueh tiau in the future :P.

Hui Sze, wish you smooth delivery of your baby boy in August ya!

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life and all of you are the precious ingredient to me." :)

Till we meet again... ...:)