Trying to be more understanding...

People keep saying try to be more understanding, but when i am trying to be more understanding and care for their feelings, how about me? Did they think of my feeling???

When I'm down, I really don't know who can I talk to. When I'm not feeling good, I also don't know who can I talk to too. They might see my happy face everyday, but they will never know how do I feel deep in my heart.

But I really thank God for my colleagues in school for always being so supportive for me in my work, if not I might really collapsed. But colleagues are not my family members, not my lovers, not someone who stay near to me, I couldn't just disturb them night and day.

Everyday when I reach home, I really didn't know how to let my parents know what I faced in school. How I was being ordered to do things here and there, being scolded by kids' parents cos I was only performing my duties and so forth. My parents are very protective so I really scared they might look for my boss so I prefer to stay quiet. But this is why they didn't know the reason I reach home late everyday. My assistant boss already warned me to make sure I finish my work as I didn't have the time to mark all my books before the previous school holiday starts. Other than that, when my parents still asked me to do things, especially my mum(a sch principal also) asked me to help to do her school work, I really feel like breaking down! It is because I need to do school work at school and now when I'm back at home I still need to do some more!! But I want to be a good kid to them, so I did what they asked reluctantly.

To be honest,

if I say I put my friends at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 3rd place.

if I say I put my family at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 2nd place.

if I say I put 'you' at my first place in my heart, yes, I'm telling the truth.

4 years, or should I say around/nearly 4 years.... We've been through ups and downs, both of us also sacrificed for us. If you ask me to really forget you, I can't. If you ask me not to think about you, I can't. If you ask me not to contact you, I'm trying very very hard! Give me sometime to let us go, can you?

Anyway, this is just simply a complain blog. My tears that dropped onto my cheeks has already dry, so means it's time to move on. Good night world.