忍.... 忍.... 忍....

今天。。
本来可以一起开开心心的，
一家人，
包括姐姐和姐夫一起，
吃顿饭，
一起搓汤圆，
一起庆祝冬至。。

为了这个晚上，
我特地去载姐姐来，
我还特地去了pavilion,
塞了几个钟头的车，
打包了今晚的晚餐，
但是。。。

却换来很多抱怨，
好，我忍。。。
吃了那顿饭，
一起搓汤圆时，
又抱怨了。。
好，我再忍。。

我到底要忍多久。。
说我不体谅，
说我不了解，
那么你们了解吗？
你们体谅吗？

迟早我真的会变成忍者了。。
但是每个人的容忍都有个限制的。。

希望我这次出远门后，
能让我从新出发，
回来时，
能恢复正常。。

I hope....

AM I MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE TO BE IN 'IT'?


I'm still wondering...
still wondering....
why on earth did I put myself in this situation?

Since young, I'm totally bad luck in it...
I couldn't cope well with it,
couldn't stay good in it...

Furthermore,
I'm now in the process of entering ageing phase,
Will I be able to continue cracking my brain for this?

Masters in Education,
sounds so 'easy' in the eye of people,
I thought it was easy too,
just study and assignments and exams...
But....

Oh no! My brain is not listening to me!
I've been cracking and searching for the right nerves to store in
all the information into my head,
to prepare for the examination TOMORROW!

Since I've taken the first step,
I think I just need to continue with it,
after all the complains here,
it's time to bury myself into my revision notes again,
all the best to everyone who are sitting for their examination too.

God, please please please send angels of wisdom to me tomorrow,
I do really really need it....

真的有爱情吗？

在这个爱情路上，虽然我的经验不是很多，如果不算那些短暂的暧昧，我真正的就只有一段四年的爱情．他让我过了四年的欢喜和忧愁．还记得今年的二月十三日，就是在情人节的前一天，他提分手时，真的重重的让我对爱情，对感情失去了信心。

过后的几个月，我一直希望有机会和他复合。每当他给我一点期望时，我以为我们真的有机会回复。但是希望慢慢变成绝望了。。

突然变成单身的我，一直把自己锁在自己的世界，天天对着电脑上网，过后还开了另一个ｆｂ户口，能够不用我真的身份，尤其是我在俗人眼里称为圣神的职业，来跟陌生人讲我的真的心情。可能不认识的关系，所以我不需要再隐瞒，也不需要像我平常生活一样演戏。当时，通过交友的ｐａｇｅ，认识了几位男生，有大过我，也有小过我，但是我真的没有想过能在网上交真的朋友。

但是，我真的认识了一位我觉得很不可能发生在我发生的一件事情。他为了见我，自己一个人独自坐巴士，从老远的槟城来到吉隆坡这里．我们在两天两夜过了非常开心的日子．以前因为都走地下情的关系，我从来都没有真的拍过拖．不曾被人拖手走街，也不曾在外面抱抱，更不用说在外亲亲．但是他真的带给我很多的第一次，我们一起的第一次．虽然现在我们因为还有很多因素，所以还不算在一起，但是我们在对方的心目中已经有很重要的位子．．不管怎样，我真的很开心能认识到他，我的华华．我们一起在ｔｈｅ　ｇａｒｄｅｎｓ的圣诞树的合照 :)．

但是，我的世界真的有爱情的存在吗？我还在怀疑着。。

Trying to be more understanding...

People keep saying try to be more understanding, but when i am trying to be more understanding and care for their feelings, how about me? Did they think of my feeling???

When I'm down, I really don't know who can I talk to. When I'm not feeling good, I also don't know who can I talk to too. They might see my happy face everyday, but they will never know how do I feel deep in my heart.

But I really thank God for my colleagues in school for always being so supportive for me in my work, if not I might really collapsed. But colleagues are not my family members, not my lovers, not someone who stay near to me, I couldn't just disturb them night and day.

Everyday when I reach home, I really didn't know how to let my parents know what I faced in school. How I was being ordered to do things here and there, being scolded by kids' parents cos I was only performing my duties and so forth. My parents are very protective so I really scared they might look for my boss so I prefer to stay quiet. But this is why they didn't know the reason I reach home late everyday. My assistant boss already warned me to make sure I finish my work as I didn't have the time to mark all my books before the previous school holiday starts. Other than that, when my parents still asked me to do things, especially my mum(a sch principal also) asked me to help to do her school work, I really feel like breaking down! It is because I need to do school work at school and now when I'm back at home I still need to do some more!! But I want to be a good kid to them, so I did what they asked reluctantly.

To be honest,

if I say I put my friends at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 3rd place.

if I say I put my family at my first place in my heart, I am lying, but they're at my 2nd place.

if I say I put 'you' at my first place in my heart, yes, I'm telling the truth.

4 years, or should I say around/nearly 4 years.... We've been through ups and downs, both of us also sacrificed for us. If you ask me to really forget you, I can't. If you ask me not to think about you, I can't. If you ask me not to contact you, I'm trying very very hard! Give me sometime to let us go, can you?

Anyway, this is just simply a complain blog. My tears that dropped onto my cheeks has already dry, so means it's time to move on. Good night world.

12 days of ups and downs

Don't get me wrong, the ups and downs aren't referring to mood swing or anything mentally. :P It's just simply getting up 3 storey-high building and down for 12 days course. Let me start.

a) FIRST PHASE (29-31/3/2011) - THIS IS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

At the end of March 2011, my colleague ( JJ ) and I received a letter asking us to attend 12 days

English Proficiency Course for non-option English Teacher. (MBMMBI)

There were four phases involved, 3 days a week (8am-4pm) and it was conducted fortnightly, so in the end took us around 2 months.

JJ and I were reluctant to go but letter from the ministry was like letter from the King, there was nothing we could do but follow.

On the 29th of March morning, JJ and I reached IPGM Kampus Ilmu Khas, Cheras, Kuala Lumpur. We went with a heavy heart(reluctant), and when we went to Drama Room(English Block), we were shocked to find out a lot of other school's participants didn't turn up.

JJ was lucky as her ex-college mate was there too. I was a bit confused with JJ's college mate as she really looked like my UKM friend. After joining into the conversation, I was surprised to know she is actually my UKM friend's twin sister! Nice meeting you Iris! Luckily I didn't call you Vicky in the first place. :)

In the end, due to the lack of participants turning up, we were combined into another cohort (group), so the original 3 cohorts end up becoming 2 cohorts only and we were moved to another block.

So, the course began. We were divided into groups, and five of us from the collapsed cohort stayed together as a group.

(From right: Hui Sze, Tow, Iris, JJ and me! :D)

We started with listening and speaking course. We didn't expect this course would end up as fun as this and at that moment, we were glad to be there.

I still remember another fun thing, as meals were provided(breakfast + lunch), so usually in the morning session, we would always thought of what would be served later. Iris, do you still remember your favourite kueh tiaw?

B) 2nd and 3rd Phase - starting to get BORED

As the title says it all, as 2nd and 3rd phase of the course is more to reading and writing, we started to feel bored. So throughout that 2 phases, mostly we've been looking forward for meals. :P But at the end of 3rd Phase, we went through an exam. An exam without needing us to do any revision. :P

C) 4th and Last Phase - ending with FUN

4th phase is so-called the main phase for us to show what have we learnt during this course. We conducted a mini exhibition. We were given different titles and my group was lucky enough to get Foods all around the world. So we have decided to prepare real foods, as in really real foods that can be consumed by the visitors. The pictures below said it all :)

Bon Appetit! It's a french word means enjoy your meal. :)

Iris, JJ, Hui Sze and me!

Getting busy with our mini stall serving tang yuan(rice flour ball)

delicious dessert in the making. :)

Group picture before we say Goodbye.

I will definitely miss my first course since I started my profession last year and also I'll miss the time hanging out especially with my group members. We really had fun discussing, chit-chatting, eating and making fun of each other. I can still meet JJ in school( she only sit in front of me in the office :P) but for Iris and Hui Sze, I will definitely miss them.

Iris, I will always remember you when I see kueh tiau in the future :P.

Hui Sze, wish you smooth delivery of your baby boy in August ya!

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life and all of you are the precious ingredient to me." :)

Till we meet again... ...:)

Happy Papa and Mama's Day

My beloved mama with her mother's day flowers (8/5/11) and my cute papa with his birthday cake (3/5/11)

Despite what happened for the past few weeks, I am glad that this two special occasions finally bring our family together again.

Parents played important roles in our life. When we were young, they can do everything for us. When we grow up and they are old, can we do anything that is right for them? They never complained when we made a big fuss out of anything during our younger days but when they grow older, we kept complaining and not thinking what they did for us last time.

Do recall back the memorable moments with our parents and love our parents.

Papa and mama I love you. :-*

Q stands for ?

After one whole week of hectic week, I was glad that it's weekend. Today is the beautiful Saturday. I want to sleep til mid-day but... ...

Noises outside my door wake me up from my dreams. It's them again. It's only April but I think they've been QUARRELLING and ARGUING for more than 10-20 times! Usually, I might go out and be the mediator but this time I decided just to stay in the room. After a few minutes, I heard crying and doors banging and silence outside. But I am very tired so I choose to continue to dream until 11am.

What I don't understand is when two loving couple that decided to tied a knot and vow to be with each other until the end of their life can end up quarrelling almost every week. Don't they forget how they appreciate the presence of each other when they start seeing each other?

I am actually feeling envy that they found each other. Unlike people like us, who are still searching and looking for a life partner and might be facing the fate that we will be alone when we're old or at the end of our life.

But nothing much that I can do or say to improve the situation. Just hope everything will just turn out fine later.

my dictionary for now.... Q for QUARRELING.... :(

Complicated relationships

I'm not going to talk about complicated relationship like LOVE but simply FRIENDSHIP..

Since young, I admit that I am a very talkative girl who can mix with people around me quite well. I've been to 2 kindergardens, 3 primary schools, 4 secondary schools,1 college and a uni. From these experiences, I get to know a lot of friends in and out of my life. I've been thinking when I treat people truly from my heart, people will treat me the same too. But I guess I was wrong.

Well, I'm the person who treat friends truly and hope friendship will last. But this week, I broke down two times with different friends who didn't treat me back the same I treat them before. But I really want to thank them for opening my small tiny eyes wide open as well as my heart and I'm starting to let go. Now I realise over-caring will lead to busy-bodyness to others. People might find you very annoying when you care for them especially we're not the friend that they might want to get close with.

Anyway, it's time for me NOT to be STUPID and kept caring for others, anxiously waiting for people's reply whenever I care for them using messages via internet or sms. It's time for me to start to ignore people who always ignore me. I don't want to do it but I'm forced to do so. I'm sorting out friends in my life into a few categories. Friends that are worth it and friends that are just friends. In the end, I found out there're only two or three friends that will be in the first category. Sad feelings rushing into me but that's the fact that I will need to accept it.

Time to remind myself.. "Abby Tiong Sing Wei! Time to wake up and be smarter! Hope you'll not be called STUPID anymore!"

Friendships and love both will not last unless you can find that special ones who think the same way as you do.

~Time to say goodbye to the old STUPID me and be a smarter person who is not KE PO(busy body in chinese) anymore!~

More than just WORDS

Words can be wonderful when you speak it well.

Words can be beautiful when you use it nicely.

Words can even save the world when we use it correctly.

But what I am ashamed of is nowadays, people use words to attack among peoples!

From my recent post, I'm currently working in a school with all educated colleagues around me. Like what I say, educated, educated! Educated people are the one who we should be afraid of! They know how to use words, twist words and make fake facts to real! I was so surprised when I was told but I was even more shocked when I experienced it!!!

I was told people like to gossip around. Well, that I understand as sometimes I did it too. :P But if it's only around your peers then it's still acceptable. But the thing is when people kept spreading it around and gossip out of their peer group, and you're the main character in that gossip, furthermore they know you're around but they still keep talking about it as if you are transparent!

I was angry, sad, disappointed but as a newbie in the new working environment, there's nothing much I can do but to endure, endure and endure! But I was grateful as I know whatever happens, I know my true friends are there for me. Like what they told me, don't care about what they said, as long as we know we're not guilty.

Gossip is a fearful thing.

After nearly two years...

I've finally come back to my blog after i left it for nearly two years... :P My sis was looking at my blog and said my blog had been deserted for so long so i was thinking of activating it back. :)

Let me refresh what happened in this two years...

1) KPLI ( Kursus Perguruan Lepasan Ijazah) - Diploma of Education

I was in Seremban for KPLI's course for a year. That year is memorable with all the tears of laughters and pain. But what I miss the most are the kids i met during my practical at SJKC Chung Hua Mantin, Negeri Sembilan. Aren't they adorable??

Besides that, let me intro my buddies that i've met during KPLI. :)

~ Kai Hern, Foo Wah, Me and Win Nie

( We're the group of 1985! ~youngest in our class~:D)

~ in IPRM's batik :)

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2) My new working era - SJKC KC1

After a year has passed, on 16th of August 2011, I've finally started my journey of working life as a permanent government worker at SJKC Kuen Cheng(1), around 3km away from KL Central. I was grateful that I've been posted back to KL and I can stay with my family but the thing is KC1 is around 15 km away from my house when there're around 5 primary schools around my housing area here. But like what my mum told me, whatever happens, it must be good. :) And it was truly good as I get to know a bunch of true friends here too. :)

These are my new bunch of friends that i only started to get close since early this year. We might only know each other for a few months, but we truly know the bondage of friendship between us is so strong that we couldn't even believe it ourselves. :)

From left: Kai Liang, Wei Leong, Tong Chiew, Cui Mei, me and Li Yee :)

2.1 Courses courses courses!!!

I've also always been sent for courses esp in English and Malay language courses as my school desperately need more teachers to teach eng and bm(eventho my option was chinese language). In the beginning,

I was a bit reluctant to go because I won't be able to teach my students for nearly a month! But I always remember the quote from my mum " Whatever happens, it must be good", and truly, I was grateful that I joined both the courses! I get to know a lot of other school teachers and learned a lot of things about these two main subjects! Will upload more about these courses after it is over in May. :)

Meanwhile, if you're my friend, you can log on to my fb and hav a look of the pic of what we've done during the course.

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3) Cousin Su Ti's wedding

Before I end this post, I just wana congratulate my dearie cousin Su Ti for her wedding! I couldn't believe the cousin that I've been playing with is already ppl's wife! Posting some pic here as the end of this post. :D

~~ Blessings in church and Dinner reception :)

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~~ Love this pic from that night. Thanx Allie!

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Til then, keep in touch and add me in facebook at my full name ( Abby Tiong Sing Wei) or

my profile URL:http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=502193950&sk=info

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"Whatever happens, it surely happens for a reason, and I believe it is a good one. :)" ~@bbytsw~ ^^